Good lord do i hate being sick. I mean i'm already a huge baby as it is, my girlfriend, family and friends can all raise both hands in agreement to that. But man when i'm sick its like completely unbearable. I'm like super needy and i want to be cuddled all the time. I bet when me and Mal live together i'll never get out of bed on the days i'm sick...and i'll make her stay in bed with me and watch The Price is Right while she feeds me Chicken Noodle Soup with a syringe, while holding a damp cloth against my forehead...
Maybe i wont be that dramatic about it, but i wouldnt count on it. I like to play up the sick thing since i've spent way too many sick days alone. Its almost scarring. I know for a fact i'm going to need somebody around me almost every second. My poor kids are going to be so neglected when i'm sick..they'll be like "momma we're hungryyy" and i'll be like "NO! she's mine today!" and then they'll be all "but she needs to fix our bottle and change our diapers" and then i'll realize how horrible of a parent i am because my kids are talking and STILL drinking out of bottles...Im gonna need all the help i can get...
Anyways, so on top of being sick this week, I was also on my period and so along with my ill health and constant neediness, I had a huge rush of female hormones and oh my god was it terrible. I mean seriously...sick and on my period. Seriously. No. Seriously?? I beleive Mother Nature is targeting me because i'm homosexual. She's a bitch.
Ahhh, but my Mallory, now she's a peach. I honestly beleive i have the best girl out there. I know she'll always be with me. She even puts up with me when i'm sick, and thats no piece of cheesecake. I'll never be able to get enough of her love. Even when I feel like the most loved person in the world because of her, i still want more. Her limitless love and genuine care and concern for me is completely intoxicating. I'm gonna marry that girl when i grow up.
So i may have a roomie for a little bit. It looks to me that my good friend caitlin is going to call off her wedding. She's pretty set in that at least. But completely clueless about everything else. I have a feeling he may guilt her into it anyways. He's completely hung up on sex and we all know how convincing gross boys can be when they want something..I dont think she'll give in because of the whole sex thing. I know she couldn't care less about that part, but i think she'll be too afraid of breaking his heart. Which makes perfect sense. Even if your in love with someone or you aren't, its hard to tell someone something that will completely change their life, and possibly devastate them. Ask an oncologist if it gets easier to tell people they have cancer and are dying. Of course not. Its not in us. So its going to be hard for her and i guess what i hate the most for her is all the I Told You So's shes gonna get. I'm pretty sure the first time i hear that i'm going to have to tell that person just what i think of them. Here were all these people who were trying to look out for her and tell her that she should wait, and that she isn't ready, and whatever other kind of crap they were trying to force her to listen to and then when she finally does come around and decides to listen and make the right choice for herself, all these people are only gonna have one thing in their minds: I told you so. And thats fine, they can think it all they want but so help me..if i hear one person say it..i'll completely lose it. She's a very prideful person herself, and i know the thought of everybody gloating that they were right will be just what it takes for her to try and prove them wrong..even if she ends up in a marriage where she's completely miserable. So everybody better watch it. I'm serious.
Car shopping tomorrow. Thank Freaking God.
I should get back to work. I may blog more later.
To be continued..
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day!
Wow! It has been awhile since i've blogged about anything. No wonder my love keeps mentioning it.
I sold my car yesterday, I still haven't decided how i feel about that. Apparently not only do i have buyers remorse i have sellers remorse. Its just weird giving something that huge to somebody. I hardly ever let anybody actually drive my car and then here i was like "oh yeah, if you give me enough money, i'll let you drive off with it and never come back" Its just so unlike me. But i'll get over it. I'm using the money to pay off a loan and then put a down payment on a new car which i'll probably be equally possessive about. My girlfriend i think i was a little down too about my car being sold, apparently there were good memories in the car but i tried to convince her that there will be much better memories made in my new one. Like, this new car will be the one we drive away from our wedding in..It will be the car we take all our trips in...and of course we'll totally make out in it like a billion times. She'll see and so will I.
I'm enjoying my day off, even though i just had 2 others before it. It seems like i've gotten older and now my life consists of just work or just Mallory. Those are all the things i ever have time for anymore. Not that i'm complaining, but i remember when i was younger and didn't have many responsibilities such as bills or a job or even a girlfriend and i felt like there were TOO MANY hours in a day. Now i'm like begging the time gods for an extra 30 minutes here and there. I wonder how much faster time will go by when i have kids...
All these wedding plans going on are like driving me crazy actually. I'm lucky that Caitlin is buying my dress and my shoes. But everyone knows i'm supposed to foot the bill for most of the other stuff that i definitely wont have money for...like the wedding shower, or the rehearsal dinner. I'll figure it out..i'll send a body part or something. Kidneys are going for a lot nowadays, so i've heard.
Well, I've gotta go make myself look presentable too the world. Hopefully Mallory will wake up soon, its 11am....hmm. I'm working on being patient though.
This was supposed to be a short post. lol.
I sold my car yesterday, I still haven't decided how i feel about that. Apparently not only do i have buyers remorse i have sellers remorse. Its just weird giving something that huge to somebody. I hardly ever let anybody actually drive my car and then here i was like "oh yeah, if you give me enough money, i'll let you drive off with it and never come back" Its just so unlike me. But i'll get over it. I'm using the money to pay off a loan and then put a down payment on a new car which i'll probably be equally possessive about. My girlfriend i think i was a little down too about my car being sold, apparently there were good memories in the car but i tried to convince her that there will be much better memories made in my new one. Like, this new car will be the one we drive away from our wedding in..It will be the car we take all our trips in...and of course we'll totally make out in it like a billion times. She'll see and so will I.
I'm enjoying my day off, even though i just had 2 others before it. It seems like i've gotten older and now my life consists of just work or just Mallory. Those are all the things i ever have time for anymore. Not that i'm complaining, but i remember when i was younger and didn't have many responsibilities such as bills or a job or even a girlfriend and i felt like there were TOO MANY hours in a day. Now i'm like begging the time gods for an extra 30 minutes here and there. I wonder how much faster time will go by when i have kids...
All these wedding plans going on are like driving me crazy actually. I'm lucky that Caitlin is buying my dress and my shoes. But everyone knows i'm supposed to foot the bill for most of the other stuff that i definitely wont have money for...like the wedding shower, or the rehearsal dinner. I'll figure it out..i'll send a body part or something. Kidneys are going for a lot nowadays, so i've heard.
Well, I've gotta go make myself look presentable too the world. Hopefully Mallory will wake up soon, its 11am....hmm. I'm working on being patient though.
This was supposed to be a short post. lol.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tuesday. Wedding. Pictures
Tuesday.
I'm trying to look on the brightside. Tuesday is almost Thursday which is almost Friday which means i'm almost outta here. That may be stretching it a bit, but its what helps me sleep at night. I guess its a normal Tuesday here at work except people are a little grumpier than usual. I've already been yelled at for actually absolutely no reason. All in a days work, i say. And you know, it makes me sad when people think they are good cooks and then bring in food that tastes like dirt. Banana bread that tastes like dirt is not what i rolled out of bed for. I'll give her a second chance if she'll forgive me for throwing it in the trash.
So yesterday morning, I walk out of my middle class home to my car to find that somebody has "broken into" my car. I'm really not sure that i can call it breaking in since I had left my door unlocked, i guess i can just call it entering without asking. They tried to steal my radio which is unstealable. When that was thwarted they instead decided to take my Zune, my baby. Now stealing my radio is one thing, they could have even stole my steering wheel or a winsdhield wiper and i would have been able to blow it off. But my Zune??? Come on people...what am i supposed to do nowwwww?? I should look on the upside of it all, if they had taken my radio and my Zune i may have just lay down and died. I have no idea what i would have done in the car then. Dance? Talk to myself? Masturbate? well i'm sure the last one is not very safe....
Thank god for my unstealable radio. Oh and the insurance people are a bunch of rat bastards. Turns out we dont have burglary coverage on my car, but i'm like seriously guys have you never heard of a favor? Apparently they dont do business that way. Whatever.
I think i'm definitely going to stop looking at pictures of other people's lesbian weddings. I'll see everybody all happy with their parents and everybody there, and it will almost piss me off when i start thinking about my honey's parents not being there for her or mine not being there either. I guess i can't have my cake and eat it too, ey? I just can't help but wonder if my bride will think its just as perfect if her parents are there to give her away or her brother isn't there to dance with her or her sister isn't there to be dramatic and anti-social. Will it still be the wedding she wants if her aunts and uncles and cousins wont be there? I mean, yeah we know that is the consequence for us being together but it doesn't make it suck any less to have them missing on one of the most important days of my sweethearts life. You see how depressed it makes me?? GAH! Seriously. No more looking. Promise.
Our wedding is spring of 2010. Why mention it now when its so long away, you say. Well sometimes i have nothing better to do than to think about engagement, wedding, baby stuff. We've actually made a lot of head way with wedding plans. Before there were a lot of i dont knows and we settled on things i dont think either of us was completely happy with. There of course is still a lot to do but at least we're happy with what we have decided on. I think our hugest breakthough is finally deciding what we are going to wear. We have gone back and forth probably a million times on this, and i think we've finally found something that will make us both incredibly happy. My beautiful bride will wear a beautiful apple red ball gown and i will be in a white suit with an apple red shirt, in lieu of a tie and jacket i'll wear a vest only. IF i were to wear a tie and it would definitely be under special circumstances (i.e. my fiancee making me) and it would of course be white. Speaking of fiancee, technically we haven't made it to that point. She asked me to marry her last year and then a couple weeks later i asked her and now she wears what is really a promise ring. I dont keep anything from my girlfriend, we have always tried to be open with each other and it is just about killing me to not tell her in detail exactly how i plan to propose. I know that it doesn't have to be super extravagant, in fact i know that she would say yes even if i asked her while i was sitting on the toilet. But, i want her to remember how i proposed and how perfect it was for the rest of her life..though the toilet thing isn't very forgettable...
Its going to be beautiful. I wish i could say more but she deserves to be surprised.
I'm going to start photographing things again. Thus the picture at the beginning. I'm extremely excited.
I am to photography what Mallory is to writing.
P.S. I have a profile pic up now. Yay. She's so perfect. I can't wait to live and love..together.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Friday Happiness
Its Friday, which is wonderful news. My heart is no longer dark inside from the prospect of having to work another day. I'm joking. I like to exaggerate because i think sometimes its funny. I could be very wrong though and that would explain why hardly anyone laughs at my exaggerations.
I do understand "grown ups" better now though. Monday is the worst day of every week and Friday is the best...or Saturday is the best..I havent quite made up my mind. Either way today is a good day.
I've been thinking of some of my habits and wondering where they came from. Mostly those habits that my girlfriend points out to me as being unbearable, though she'll never openly admit that to me. She just says it without saying it like all girls do with everything. And i've come to the conclusion about my impatience, which i view as a habit and not a personality trait, it all started with my biological father who from here on out will be referred to as Jack Ass (not to be confused with my adopted father who i will refer to as John, so make the distinction in your minds now). Jack Ass taught me to be impatient in some weird osmosis way. He was the most impatient person in the world. He was that guy that you know thats always like 5 seconds away from just beating the living crap out of someone, thus scaring the bejeezus out of me. You never knew when he was gonna explode. He didnt wait around for anything, you had to be on time, if you called him on the phone you had to get to the point quick, you had to do everything right the first time or else...
It just rubbed off on me. I dont do it cause i want my way. I actually may do it because i'm still afraid, but i'll have to pay a therapist to tell me if thats true or not. Luckily his Jack Ass-ness didn't rub off on me though some people may disagree on that point, but i'll pay you to be on my side so that instantly makes me cooler.
I am an avid reader of the news, every day even multiple times a day i check the world and local news. I've become famous here at the office, because of it. I know things most people dont know, or truthfully what most people dont care about. Test me. Ask me when the price of stamps is going up and how much....come on..ask me...or dont..whatever. So anyways I'll try to post things on here that are interesting for the sake of satisfying my lone reader (hey baby!) who wouldn't care if all i wrote about was poop. (huh..could be interesting...)
My sweet lady is a writer. And she doesn't write about stamps or poop so i think she has a really good chance of being famous for the things she writes. She's better than she knows. Or maybe she does know but either way she's pretty damn good. I actually beg for her to write more. In fact i was thinking about how i love reading books but after 200 or so pages its done and even if its like the most amazing book in the world there's no way you can get more..thats just the end of the story..not so with my amazing writer girlfriend...we have sex so i can always get what i want from her. I can always get more. Its a beautiful thing. I will not want for entertainment of the literary persuasion. I'll always get more beacuse i have the body of a god..
Speaking of my body... 4'11" 112lbs. Thats a recipe for perfection right there. Or well..it COULD be..I didnt know you could make 112 look bad but i think i have it down pretty good. And i'm not really one to be focused on appearances. I'm a chubby chaser through and through. I think the hottest girls in the world are the ones that have some junk in the trunk and and in the front...but come on...112!! my butt shouldn't jiggle as much as it does when i walk. It should stay firmly in place, my abs should be rock hard, and my biceps should be just big enough to pick up my blushing bride...er girlfriend. There was a test i learned from a book that i'm going to conduct on myself. I'm sure this has only been done by 11 year olds but i'm going to try and put my own twist on it. Here's how it goes pretty much: You take a pencil and put it underneath your boob if it stays there you need a bra. Makes sense. If your boobies can hold things or be used as a secret pocket its time to make sure they are supported in the best way possible. So i'm going to try this pencil experiment with my booty. If it stays its time for a booty bra. I've never seen a saggy butt that i know of but i dont have to see with my own eyes to know with my own heart that it is probably one of the most unattractive things in the world. And though the person who shares the other half of my heart is probably the most loving human being on the planet i dont know that i could do that to her. Showing up for sex in the shower with a saggy ass is probably a form of punishment in some third world country. I can't bring myself to do this to her. Something must be done...I could join a gym. I could do butt excercises everyday. Or i could convince her that a jiggly booty is the sexiest thing there is and its really fun to smack it and watch it shake and hope this is a turn on to her...yeah..i think i'm going with Plan C. I promise i'll look into butt bras on ebay though just in case things dont work out as planned. And you know something else..i wish my body came with sperm...but that is a whole different subject...
Here's something i plan to feature in all my blogs starting now.
Songs I'm crazy about right now.
"You Wont Ever Be Lonely" by Andy Griggs.
Its mushy and sappy and sweet in an absolutely perfect way. One day i'll stand outside my girlfriends window with a stereo over my head and serenade her with this song and hope she'll take me into her bed and have her way with me, saggy butt and all. Definitely a song being played at our wedding.
"Grandpa (Tell me about the good old days)" by The Judds.
I have deceived myself into thinking i'm actually good at singing this song though i know maybe one third of all the words. But my mom loves it and i'll admit that is a good sized portion of why i like it. She actually sings it so good that i think she may have been a Judd herself.
"I'm the Only One" by Melissa Etheridge.
This is my favorite Melissa E song. I'll confess to having a seriously enormous crush on her and an even bigger one on her wife Tammy. But ANYWAYS..I suppose I love this song so much because i actually know the story behind it. (I read books) Its moving and I can jam out to it and feel like a rock n roll lesbian. Which of course i'm not. I'm a pretty nerdy, bookish lesbian but we are all allowed to pretend sometimes.
How'd ya like that?
I do understand "grown ups" better now though. Monday is the worst day of every week and Friday is the best...or Saturday is the best..I havent quite made up my mind. Either way today is a good day.
I've been thinking of some of my habits and wondering where they came from. Mostly those habits that my girlfriend points out to me as being unbearable, though she'll never openly admit that to me. She just says it without saying it like all girls do with everything. And i've come to the conclusion about my impatience, which i view as a habit and not a personality trait, it all started with my biological father who from here on out will be referred to as Jack Ass (not to be confused with my adopted father who i will refer to as John, so make the distinction in your minds now). Jack Ass taught me to be impatient in some weird osmosis way. He was the most impatient person in the world. He was that guy that you know thats always like 5 seconds away from just beating the living crap out of someone, thus scaring the bejeezus out of me. You never knew when he was gonna explode. He didnt wait around for anything, you had to be on time, if you called him on the phone you had to get to the point quick, you had to do everything right the first time or else...
It just rubbed off on me. I dont do it cause i want my way. I actually may do it because i'm still afraid, but i'll have to pay a therapist to tell me if thats true or not. Luckily his Jack Ass-ness didn't rub off on me though some people may disagree on that point, but i'll pay you to be on my side so that instantly makes me cooler.
I am an avid reader of the news, every day even multiple times a day i check the world and local news. I've become famous here at the office, because of it. I know things most people dont know, or truthfully what most people dont care about. Test me. Ask me when the price of stamps is going up and how much....come on..ask me...or dont..whatever. So anyways I'll try to post things on here that are interesting for the sake of satisfying my lone reader (hey baby!) who wouldn't care if all i wrote about was poop. (huh..could be interesting...)
My sweet lady is a writer. And she doesn't write about stamps or poop so i think she has a really good chance of being famous for the things she writes. She's better than she knows. Or maybe she does know but either way she's pretty damn good. I actually beg for her to write more. In fact i was thinking about how i love reading books but after 200 or so pages its done and even if its like the most amazing book in the world there's no way you can get more..thats just the end of the story..not so with my amazing writer girlfriend...we have sex so i can always get what i want from her. I can always get more. Its a beautiful thing. I will not want for entertainment of the literary persuasion. I'll always get more beacuse i have the body of a god..
Speaking of my body... 4'11" 112lbs. Thats a recipe for perfection right there. Or well..it COULD be..I didnt know you could make 112 look bad but i think i have it down pretty good. And i'm not really one to be focused on appearances. I'm a chubby chaser through and through. I think the hottest girls in the world are the ones that have some junk in the trunk and and in the front...but come on...112!! my butt shouldn't jiggle as much as it does when i walk. It should stay firmly in place, my abs should be rock hard, and my biceps should be just big enough to pick up my blushing bride...er girlfriend. There was a test i learned from a book that i'm going to conduct on myself. I'm sure this has only been done by 11 year olds but i'm going to try and put my own twist on it. Here's how it goes pretty much: You take a pencil and put it underneath your boob if it stays there you need a bra. Makes sense. If your boobies can hold things or be used as a secret pocket its time to make sure they are supported in the best way possible. So i'm going to try this pencil experiment with my booty. If it stays its time for a booty bra. I've never seen a saggy butt that i know of but i dont have to see with my own eyes to know with my own heart that it is probably one of the most unattractive things in the world. And though the person who shares the other half of my heart is probably the most loving human being on the planet i dont know that i could do that to her. Showing up for sex in the shower with a saggy ass is probably a form of punishment in some third world country. I can't bring myself to do this to her. Something must be done...I could join a gym. I could do butt excercises everyday. Or i could convince her that a jiggly booty is the sexiest thing there is and its really fun to smack it and watch it shake and hope this is a turn on to her...yeah..i think i'm going with Plan C. I promise i'll look into butt bras on ebay though just in case things dont work out as planned. And you know something else..i wish my body came with sperm...but that is a whole different subject...
Here's something i plan to feature in all my blogs starting now.
Songs I'm crazy about right now.
"You Wont Ever Be Lonely" by Andy Griggs.
Its mushy and sappy and sweet in an absolutely perfect way. One day i'll stand outside my girlfriends window with a stereo over my head and serenade her with this song and hope she'll take me into her bed and have her way with me, saggy butt and all. Definitely a song being played at our wedding.
"Grandpa (Tell me about the good old days)" by The Judds.
I have deceived myself into thinking i'm actually good at singing this song though i know maybe one third of all the words. But my mom loves it and i'll admit that is a good sized portion of why i like it. She actually sings it so good that i think she may have been a Judd herself.
"I'm the Only One" by Melissa Etheridge.
This is my favorite Melissa E song. I'll confess to having a seriously enormous crush on her and an even bigger one on her wife Tammy. But ANYWAYS..I suppose I love this song so much because i actually know the story behind it. (I read books) Its moving and I can jam out to it and feel like a rock n roll lesbian. Which of course i'm not. I'm a pretty nerdy, bookish lesbian but we are all allowed to pretend sometimes.
How'd ya like that?
Friday, May 2, 2008
Blog Numero Uno
This is overly exciting. Blogs are so cool. Though its a tool really. And thats exactly how I'm gonna treat it. This baby is gonna help me reach my one day-old goal of becoming extremely famous. I've picked blogging because I really can't think of one person who has become enormously famous because they were a good blogger. I could pioneer that. Blogging is just the beginning, once this gets me an inch of the spotlight I'll take it the whole darn mile. I have many other talents begging to be discovered, and i'm just as interested as everybody else to find out what they are. At least i hope people are interested...
I'm a very indulgent creature. If i had a choice i would spend my days doing things that i was passionate about. Like taking pictures of pretty things, even eating really good food, or having great sex. Instead, i have a job. Whoever made up the ignorant concept of Work = Money is someone i would love to personally punch in the face. Lets not let him think of any more things. Working isn't so bad sometimes, I actually enjoy it every so often. Not as much as great sex or great food, mind you. But its tolerable. Also, its probably the greatest inspiration for many of my stories, seeing as how i spend 9 hours a day 5 days a week here. For instance, I rub shoulders with a guy whose name i've changed to Stark. Though Stark is actually a much cooler name than said person actually deserves. He got a haircut yesterday or maybe this morning, i'm not exactly sure and i probably shouldn't just assume. So i've narrowed it down to those two times. I've never known a short haircut make someone look MORE feminine but on him it has just that affect. And he's proud of his haircut, like seriously be a man, drink a beer, go watch ESPN and scratch yourself. Dont be proud of your haircut, it makes you way less cool. I'm sure i'll write a lot about Stark but the truth is i'm ignoring him at the moment because i like my days to be filled with happiness and talking to him makes me feel sad for living. I could also call him Eeyore but Eeyore was way cuter than Stark. But the voice is just the same.
So i've been up to my nostrils in work lately. But after i finish being so busy i swear on my whole little life that i'll be more regular with this blog.
As a side note:
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon got married..now she's about to be 40 which isn't really that old. Unless your Mariah Carey...i mean i would do her..but only until she turned 40 and then after that sorry Mariah, buffet is closed. Gross. And Nick is 27. Age differences normally dont bother me but this is just so weird..he was like in his teens when she was in her prime. I wonder how he feels about that...gahh what am i saying?? he married the oldie. Well more power to them..but i give it 3 months.
I'm a very indulgent creature. If i had a choice i would spend my days doing things that i was passionate about. Like taking pictures of pretty things, even eating really good food, or having great sex. Instead, i have a job. Whoever made up the ignorant concept of Work = Money is someone i would love to personally punch in the face. Lets not let him think of any more things. Working isn't so bad sometimes, I actually enjoy it every so often. Not as much as great sex or great food, mind you. But its tolerable. Also, its probably the greatest inspiration for many of my stories, seeing as how i spend 9 hours a day 5 days a week here. For instance, I rub shoulders with a guy whose name i've changed to Stark. Though Stark is actually a much cooler name than said person actually deserves. He got a haircut yesterday or maybe this morning, i'm not exactly sure and i probably shouldn't just assume. So i've narrowed it down to those two times. I've never known a short haircut make someone look MORE feminine but on him it has just that affect. And he's proud of his haircut, like seriously be a man, drink a beer, go watch ESPN and scratch yourself. Dont be proud of your haircut, it makes you way less cool. I'm sure i'll write a lot about Stark but the truth is i'm ignoring him at the moment because i like my days to be filled with happiness and talking to him makes me feel sad for living. I could also call him Eeyore but Eeyore was way cuter than Stark. But the voice is just the same.
So i've been up to my nostrils in work lately. But after i finish being so busy i swear on my whole little life that i'll be more regular with this blog.
As a side note:
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon got married..now she's about to be 40 which isn't really that old. Unless your Mariah Carey...i mean i would do her..but only until she turned 40 and then after that sorry Mariah, buffet is closed. Gross. And Nick is 27. Age differences normally dont bother me but this is just so weird..he was like in his teens when she was in her prime. I wonder how he feels about that...gahh what am i saying?? he married the oldie. Well more power to them..but i give it 3 months.
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